51 20th annual crime prevention guide Department of Justice Canada Abuse is Wrong ...Abuse is Wrong continued There are other forms of abuse that may not be crimes, but even so, they are hurtful and they might lead to criminal forms of abuse. Some examples are: • humiliating you or making you feel worthless • insulting, ignoring or neglecting you • constantly yelling at you • calling you names • not letting you have money that you need • ridiculing your religious or spiritual beliefs or preventing you from practising your religion • deciding what you can and can’t do, where you can go, what you can wear, and who you can be with • forcing you to marry someone you don’t want to marry Help is available There are people who can help you if you are being abused. If you are being abused, call a health centre, community organization or shelter. Find out what help they can offer. Ask them where else you should call or go for help. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call 9-11 or your local police. They will take steps to protect you and your children or other dependents. The police can also help you get a peace bond*. You can also get • advice and counselling • help to decide whether you want to stay or leave • legal help* that may be free of charge If you decide to leave, you can get • help to leave and a safe place to stay • financial help • an order from a civil or family court* Where can you get more information? • shelters • the police • the Crown attorney’s* office • hospitals • multicultural associations • community centres or women’s centres • telephone crisis lines • public legal education and information associations • lawyer referral services • legal aid offices • a doctor or public health nurse • a social worker* You are not alone Abuse happens in all kinds of families. It happens to Canadian citizens, immigrants and refugees. It happens to women and men with or without children, people who are rich or poor, professionals, stay-at-home parents, young and old. It happens to individuals of all backgrounds, religions, races, cultures, ethnic origins and sexual orientations. Abuse also can happen at any stage of a relationship. Help is available to those who are being abused. Abuse in a family Witnessing abuse in a family or being abused can have serious physical, psychological and emotional consequences, possibly leading to repeated patterns of violent behaviour. Sometimes parents act abusively toward their children and sometimes adolescent children act abusively toward their parents or toward other family members. Even brothers and sisters may act abusively toward each other. Young people facing abuse It is very hard for children to suffer abuse or to see or hear a parent, sibling or other family member being abused. If you are a young person and you are being abused, or if you are witnessing the abuse of a brother, sister, parent or other family member, you might feel scared, embarrassed or confused. Abuse can affect your behaviour, physical and mental health, self-esteem, and performance in school. It may also affect the way you socialize with others. You may be frustrated and want to take it out on other people. You may be acting out in a violent way or you may be bullying someone at school, or perhaps you are being bullied. No matter what the situation, it is wrong to hurt anyone. Tell someone you trust about the abuse. If you are acting violently toward anyone else, get help before the situation gets worse so you can stop the cycle of violence. If you are a young person and you are being abused or you are acting out in a violent way, you can call the Kids’ Helpline free of charge. You don’t have to tell them your name: 1-800668-6868. You can also find out more at the Family Violence Youth Site: http://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/pi/fv-vf/fvy-vfj/index.html If you are being abused, it is not your fault Talking about abuse can be difficult. You might feel ashamed or afraid that your family and friends will not believe you. Some people may even try to convince you that what is happening is normal in a relationship, or they may be threatening you to keep quiet. You may be afraid of being rejected by your community if you leave. But remember— nothing you do gives anyone the right to abuse you. There is no excuse for abuse. Many people have found that there is a cycle of abuse. The tension builds for a while until the person acts violently. continued...
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