27 24TH ANNUAL CRIME PREVENTION GUIDE SUICIDE IN CHILDREN AND YOUTH: Summary: When individuals are overwhelmed, whether by life stresses, or by conditions such as depression, they may turn to suicide as a way of coping. And although it is scary, the good news is that ultimately the person is trying to cope. Family and friends are absolutely critical, and can offer support in many ways, such as by spending time with the person, listening and validating the person, and helping ensure that the person seek professional help. What is Suicide? Suicide is the act of ending one's life. People can get thoughts about committing suicide for many reasons, such as when a person is under so many stresses that they become overwhelmed and cannot cope. Typical stresses may include: • Home stress, such as conflict/disgreements with mother, father, siblings... • School stress such as problems with friends, schoolwork, teachers, bullies... • Work stress such as problems with co-workers, bosses, workload... • Other problems such as depression, anxiety, substance use People can feel suicidal when they feel 1) disconnected from other people, 2) helpless to deal with their stress, and/or 3) hopeless that their stress will improve. Thus, one way to help a young person who is feeling suicidal is to help 1) them feel connected again, and/or 2) overcome helplessness by giving them a sense of control, and/or 3) give them a sense of hope. Warning Signs for Suicide The following is a list of signs that may indicate someone is thinking about suicide. If your child exhibits only one or two things on this list, then it is probably not a big concern, but you would be much more worried if your child exhibits several of these warning signs: • Your child expresses feelings of worthlessness, such as, "I'm no good to anybody." • Your child talks about suicide and about what it would be like if things end. He or she may make comments such as, "When I'm gone ..." or ask questions such as, "What would it be like if I wasn't around?" • Your child becomes preoccupied with giving away or distributing his/her possessions. • Your child shows hopelessness about the future, saying things such as, "What's the use? If You Are WorriedYour Child May be Feeling Suicidal Talk to your loved one openly about suicide. Do not be afraid to ask. You might gently lead into things by asking some general questions: E.g. You might start by saying, "How are you doing?", and then remember to give your loved one a chance to respond! You might then express your concerns, e.g. you might say "I love and I'm worried about you these days." You might then ask, "It seems like things have been stressful for you lately." A nice gentle way to bring up the topic of suicide is then to say, "Does it ever get so stressful that you think life isn't worth living?" If your child says yes, then you might proceed to ask, "Do you get any thoughts of doing something to end your life?" If your child says YES to this, then seek immediate professional help. This may include: • Calling 911 • Calling a telephone crisis line • Calling a friend or doctor And even if your child says "no" when you directly ask about thoughts of suicide, trust your instincts. If you are worried your child is in immediate danger of ending his/her life, then get help. Ways to Support Someone Who is Passively Suicidal If your child is not actively suicidal, but is nonetheless still having thoughts that life is not worth living, here are some possible things you might do: First of all, seek professional help. Be a support, but remember that you are not a counsellor/therapist. Listen and validate what your loved one is saying. • Thank the other person for sharing with you. "I didn't know you feeling so bad... Thanks for telling me." • Empathize, which means that you agree and acknowledge how bad the person feels, e.g. "Yeah, I can see that would be very difficult." Don't say things such as "You shouldn't be feeling this way" or "You should count yourself lucky" because that may make the person feel guilty, and less likely to open up to you. • Don't invalidate or judge the other person for how they are feeling, even if you yourself wouldn't feel the same way. Don't say things such as... "How can you possibly feel this way? After all that we've done for you? Is this the way you repay us? How can you do this to us?" Such blame will most likely make your child feel worse, making it less likely ► A GUIDE FOR PARENTS
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