41 FAMILY VIOLENCE AWARENESS continued FamilyViolence Hurts! continued • minimize his or her violent behavior • say he or she can’t live without the victim and threaten suicide • have a history of abusing others, even animals • act extremely jealous and suspicious • show no regard for the law • use access to a victim's children to harass • do other things to cause physically or emotionally hurt If someone is doing one or more of these things, there are warning signs of an abusive relationship. If you are being abused, you might: • make excuses for the abusive behavior • have limited access to your friends and family • have limited access to a phone, a computer or money • be nervous about talking when the person is there • try to cover up bruises • fear for your life and for the safety of children or pets • make excuses and avoid people on the street • be in denial and unable to see the risk • blame yourself for the violent behavior and “walk around on eggshells” • feel sad, lonely, withdrawn and afraid • be sick more often and miss work • be defensive and angry • cope by using drugs or alcohol If you have experienced any of these things, it is a warning sign that you are in an abusive relationship. The risk of abuse may be even greater if: • someone is pregnant or has young children • the person has access to weapons • the person has a history of abuse with others • the person has threatened to harm or kill, including children, pets or property • there is alcohol or drug abuse • the person has used physical violence in the past • the person is going through major life changes such as job loss or depression • the victim is involved in another relationship or the person thinks there is another relationship • there is a custody issue concerning the children • a person is recently separated or planning to separate Please take these warning signs seriously. Being able to recognize abusive behaviour is an important step in moving forward. The next step is to seek help and support. Make a Safety Plan If you are living in a violent relationship, you probably know that there can be a cycle to the violence. In some relationships, things may be calm for a while and then the tension and anger build up. Family members may feel they are “walking on egg shells”. An argument may start. Your partner may “explode” and become threatening or violent. This can be a very dangerous time and it is important to plan what you will do to keep yourself and your children safe. Victim Services and Family Violence Prevention Services can help you develop a plan tailored to your situation.
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