59 FAMILY VIOLENCE AWARENESS How experiences of family violence affect women There are many ‘survival’ skills that women learn when living in an abusive relationship. These may include: Trust issues (may not trust themselves, or may trust the wrong people) Difficulty recognizing or showing emotions (may find it difficult to share feelings or ask for help when needed) A fear of making changes (a situation may feel ‘safe’ and ‘familiar’ when it is not) Caring too much (helping others before helping themselves) Negative coping mechanisms (may turn to alcohol, drugs, food, use of violence) Low selfesteem (some women believe they deserve to be abused, especially if partners repeatedly tell them it’s their fault) Women who have experienced family violence do not fit any single ‘profile,’ however, they often share many common traits as a result of the abuse. A woman who has been living with abuse could seem, or be described in the following ways: • fearful • minimizes/excuses the abuse • feels a sense of helplessness and powerlessness • blames herself, feels guilty • feels she deserves the abuse • shame/embarrassment • passive • severe anxiety or nervousness • confused, unable to make decisions • lack of eye contact • hopes for change • ‘masks’ feelings with happiness • quick to anger • difficulty getting along with others • has defensive body language • defiant • fearful of people or places • genuine feelings of love for partner • feels like a bad parent; feels obligated to “keep the family together” • socially isolated; no personal support network or connections to work, child care, or recreational activities • chronic complaints of poor health • making frequent visits to the doctor • may or may not hide physical injuries • may abuse drugs or alcohol to cope • eating disorders • suicidal thoughts or actions • sleep issues (e.g. insomnia, nightmares) • have blocked memories • have boundary issues • disconnect self from situation • have multiple abusive relationships • have sexual problems; multiple partners www.fvps.ca Designed by Freepik
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