Prince Edward Island Police Association 33rd Annual Crime Prevention Guide
1 SENIOR ABUSE AWARENESS Message From The Premier I am pleased to support the 33rd Annual Guide for PEI Police Association on Elder Abuse. Ageism or age discrimination affects us all. Negative attitudes and stereotypes about aging are harmful and create negative messages about self-worth, respect, and ability. Older adults have built and shaped the Island we all know and love. Accepting one another for who they are, no matter their age and ability, can help to prevent ageism and decrease instances of elder abuse. Together, let’s support one another and put an end to elder abuse on Prince Edward Island. Sincerely, Honourable Dennis King Premier of Prince Edward Island
33RD ANNUAL CRIME PREVENTION GUIDE 2
3 SENIOR ABUSE AWARENESS MESSAGE FROM THE PEIPA PRESIDENT On behalf of the members of the Prince Edward Island Police Association, I am very pleased to introduce our 33rd Annual Crime Prevention Guide, which tackles the very difficult topic of Seniors Abuse Awareness. The intent of this publication is to help educate and promote the public’s role to identify and address financial, mental or physical abuse to Prince Edward Island’s seniors. This publication is made possible by the generous contributions and support of many individuals, business owners and organizations throughout the province, and we are very grateful for their contributions that allow us to continue to publish our annual publications that reach PEI’s citizens and educate our communities on a variety of important crime prevention issues. Proceeds are also used to support PEIPA activities and further our Police Association’s community involvement and support, including a donation to the Canadian Red Cross’s “Friendly Calls Program”, that has a Red Cross staff member or volunteer call seniors at home to help address issues of isolation or loneliness which became heightened during COVID. Please stay safe! Sincerely, Sgt. Ron MacLean President PEI Police Association www.peipolice.com EXECUTIVE MEMBERS Cpl. Ron Kennedy Vice-President East Cpl. Dale Corish Vice-PresidentWest Sgt.Allan Kelly Recording Secretary Cpl.Tim Keizer Treasurer Cst. Mark Newcombe Director East
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5 SENIOR ABUSE AWARENESS TABLE OF CONTENTS 33rd Annual Crime Prevention Guide Message from the Premier . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .1 Message from the PEIPA President . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .3 Message from the Mayor of Charlottetown . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .7 Message from the Mayor of Summerside . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .9 Message from the Charlottetown Chief of Police . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .11 Message from the Summerside Chief of Police . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .13 Publisher’s Message . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .15 PEIPA Supports the Community . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .17 Charlottetown's new Deputy Police Chief drew strength from tragedy in her career . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .27 Seniors Abuse Awareness What is Senior Abuse? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .31 A Closer Look . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .33 Physical Abuse . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .35 Sexual Abuse . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .37 Emotional Abuse . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .39 Financial Abuse . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .41 Neglect Abuse . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .44 Institutional Abuse or Neglect . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .45 What you can do if you suspect abuse . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .46 How can you identify and help older adults at risk . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .47 What you can do to keep yourself safe from abuse . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .51 Help is Available . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .53 Why is abuse often not reported? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .55 Why does abuse happen? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .57 Grieving families call for public inquiry to look at long-term care in P.E.I. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .59 World Elder Abuse Awareness Day . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .63 Where to find help . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .63 ADVERTISERS’ INDEX . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .69 Need help but don’t know where to start? Call 211 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .72
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7 SENIOR ABUSE AWARENESS On behalf of myself, Council, and staff, the City of Charlottetown wishes to congratulate the Prince Edward Island Police Association on their 33rd Annual Crime Prevention Guide, which focuses on Senior Abuse Awareness. The information made available through the publication of this guide contributes to a broader sense of community safety, health, and well-being. One of the essential services that governments must provide is an attentive concern for the well-being of senior residents. Charlottetown City Council recently approved the City’s new Strategic Plan (2022 to 2026) – a community for everyone. During the Community Engagement phase of this plan, we heard from many older adults in our community. Developing a safe and secure community was among the top priorities for residents of Charlottetown. As your Mayor and Council, we hear what is important to senior residents, and we appreciate the PEIPA’s vital role in contributing to this shared responsibility of creating safe and secure communities. With this guide, the PEIPA shows a clear commitment to keeping residents safe and informed. Their dedicated and community-focused approach is necessary to build trust, share resources, and maintain public safety. I sincerely thank the Prince Edward Island Police Association for their role in making Prince Edward Island a safe and enjoyable place to live. Yours sincerely, Philip Brown Office of the Mayor City of Charlottetown Birthplace of Confederation Canada MESSAGE FROM THE MAYOR OF CHARLOTTETOWN
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9 SENIOR ABUSE AWARENESS MESSAGE FROM THE MAYOR OF SUMMERSIDE On behalf of the Council and the City of Summerside I would like to convey congratulations to the PEI Police Association on their 33rd Annual Crime Prevention Guide publication. This year’s theme “Senior Abuse” is an important topic for our citizens and island community. According to the 2021 census people, seniors, those recognized as sixty-five or older account for over 21% of our total population on PEI. Senior abuse is real, on PEI it is most often categorized as self-neglect, caregiver neglect, financial, emotional, and verbal abuse. This guide is designed to inform the public on important topics like Senior Abuse and provide information on resources and supports available helping to keep our vulnerable populations safe, alert, and aware of the dangers. The City of Summerside is proud to continue our support and participate in this publication. I also extend congratulations to all the police officers whose dedication and commitment help ensure the safety of our residents and visitors to our City and the Island every day. You contribute greatly to our exceptional quality of life on PEI and for that we thank you. Sincerely, Mayor Dan Kutcher City of Summerside
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11 SENIOR ABUSE AWARENESS MESSAGE FROM THE CHARLOTTETOWN CHIEF OF POLICE On behalf of the City of Charlottetown I would like to congratulate the Prince Edward Island Police Association on the production of their 33rd Annual Community Guide. The theme this year “Elder Abuse” emphasizes the need for both Police and our society to protect those who are most vulnerable. Elder abuse comes in many forms be it physical, emotional/psychological, financial/material, and sexual. It is imperative that individuals know the warning signs along with education and awareness, and the need to know there are agencies and organizations in our society who can help. In closing, I would like to thank everyone involved with Prince Edward Island Police Association, not just for what they do in the community but also their role in making our Island communities a safe and enjoyable place to live. Yours truly, Brad MacConnell Chief of Police Charlottetown Police Services
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13 SENIOR ABUSE AWARENESS On behalf of the Summerside Police Services I would like to congratulate the Prince Edward Island Police Association on their 33rd Annual Crime Prevention Guide. Elder Abuse is such an important topic as the global population is aging. It is unfortunate but seniors are one of the most vulnerable groups in our communities. As technology continues to expand the exploitation of older adults become victims through identity theft, hacking, scams through robocalls, phishing emails requesting money and personal information. In addition, physical and emotional abuse of older adults often go unnoticed, particularly when the perpetrators of such abuse are family members. Elder abuse refers to harm done to an older person by a friend, caregiver or anyone that an older person relies on to fulfill their basic needs. Elder abuse covers a whole range of behaviors from hurtful comments to dominating or controlling another person’s daily activities. Often seniors are reluctant to report abuse to police or other authorities because they may believe the police cannot help. They can be embarrassed telling anyone that they have been scammed or if a family member has been harming them or stealing their money. Every senior deserves protection from abusers and the PEIPA Annual Guide on Elder Abuse provides excellent information and guidelines to protect the most vulnerable. Again, on behalf of the members of the Summerside Police Services we would like to thank everyone involved in the publication of the 33rd Annual Crime Prevention Guide on Elder Abuse. Respectfully, MESSAGE FROM THE SUMMERSIDE CHIEF OF POLICE Chief Sinclair Walker Summerside Police Services
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15 SENIOR ABUSE AWARENESS MESSAGE FROM THE PUBLISHER “Providing quality, professional marketing and fundraising services on behalf of high-profile, non-profit organizations across Canada.” www.fenety.com 1-800-561-4422 On behalf of the Prince Edward Island Police Association, I would like to take this opportunity to sincerely thank each and every advertiser and sponsor of our Annual Telephone Appeal, allowing this unique publication to be distributed throughout the community, to schools, libraries and public facilities and also available online at www.peipolice.com, making it easily accessible to everyone. The PEIPA publishes an Annual Crime Prevention Guide to educate the public on important community concerns. This 33rd Annual Crime Prevention Guide targets the subject of Senior Abuse Awareness and is designed to help educate and promote the public’s role to identify and address financial, mental or physical abuse to Prince Edward Island’s seniors. This publication is made possible as a result of financial support from residents and business representatives throughout the province. With their generous support for the activities of the PEI Police Association, PEIPA is also able to give back to their communities through donations to various local charities and programs for youth, such as their recent $1,000 donation to the Canadian Red Cross’s “Friendly Calls Program”, that has a Red Cross staff member or volunteer call seniors at home to help address issues of isolation or loneliness which became heightened during COVID. We welcome comments or suggestions regarding these publications and always look forward to speaking with you each year during our Annual Telephone Appeal. Respectfully, Mark T. Fenety President Fenety Marketing Services
33RD ANNUAL CRIME PREVENTION GUIDE 16 Proud Supporter of PEI Police Association DAVE POWER OWNER / CEO DPower@NPSSConsulting.ca Main Office - 902-892-9977 (24/7) Admin@NPSSConsulting.ca WWW.NPSSConsulting.ca SECURITY • SECURITY CONSULTING • VEHICLE PATROL 902854-3265 “No More Leaks Over Your Head” Proudly Serving Prince & Queens County for over 20 Years. 5 Year Replacement Guarantee Residential & Commercial Installations • 5” Seamless Aluminum Eavestrough • Leaf guards • No More Rust and Leaks • Variety of Colors to Choose From • No Spikes Showing (installed with brackets inside eavestrough) • Soffit & Fascia Installation Call Kevin Arsenault today Cell: 439-1548 Wellington, PEI Thank you for your support
17 SENIOR ABUSE AWARENESS A financial donation was made to the PEI 5 pin Bowlers Association. Cst. Ron Kennedy making a financial donation to Sherwood Parkdale Figure Skating Club. Cst. Tim Keizer making a financial donation to REACH Fountation. Cst. Tim Keizer making a financial donation to to Marlene at the Early Bird Hockey Tournament. PEIPA SUPPORTS THE COMMUNITY
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19 SENIOR ABUSE AWARENESS Cst. Lisi presenting a donation to purchase new rugby uniforms to Three Oaks Senior High School AA female team. Cst. Perry making a financial donation to U13 Summerside Capitals. Cst. Tim Keizer made a presentation to youth on safety. A financial donation made to U13 - A1 Female Capitals PEIPA SUPPORTS THE COMMUNITY
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21 SENIOR ABUSE AWARENESS PEIPA SUPPORTS THE COMMUNITY Cst. Tim Keizer making a financial donation to Jenna Simmons accepting for Jacob Simmons Sports Scholarship. Cst. Pound making a financial donation to Instructor Madeline Hughes of the Charlottetown Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Cst. Ron Kennedy making a financial donation to Central Attack U15 AAA. Cst. Deware making a financial donation to WesterWind Female Hockey.
33RD ANNUAL CRIME PREVENTION GUIDE 22 Island Pulp Producers RR#6 Cardigan PE C0A 1G0 (902) 838-4671 islandpulp@hotmail.com “Proud to support our PEI Police Association” East Prince Funeral Home 245 Pope Road Summerside, PE C1N 5T4 Phone: (902) 436-0915 Fax: (902) 888-3112 Email: epfuneral@eastlink.ca King Truck Repair Phillip Lannigan (902) 894-4088 (902) 894-0533 - fax 404 Mount Edward Road Charlottetown PE C1E 2A1 kingtruckrepair@bellaliant.com
23 SENIOR ABUSE AWARENESS PEIPA SUPPORTS THE COMMUNITY Polar Plunge PEI Special Olympics We are proud to support the communities we serve! A financial donation was made to PEI Special Olympics Law Enforcement Torch Run. A financial donation made to Easter Express U15 Baseball
33RD ANNUAL CRIME PREVENTION GUIDE 24 Royal Canadian Legion Branch #5 340 Notre Dame Street Summerside, PE C1N 1S5 167 Minajane Drive Charlottetown, PE C1E 2L9 (902) 367-3041 www.habitatpei.ca 375 University Ave., Charlottetown, PE C1A 4N4 (902) 566-9898 (902) 886-2222 andersonscreek.com Brian’s Auto Repair Brian Peters – Mechanic Phone: (902) 687-1388 31 Fortune River Road, Fortune Bridge, PE C0A 2B0 RECEIVERCOFFEE.COM (902) 367-3436 128 RICHMOND ST CHARLOTTETOWN, PE C1A 1H9 16 Garfield St., Charlottetown, PE C1A 7N8 (902) 368-6233
25 SENIOR ABUSE AWARENESS Kensington Police Service Bicyle Rodeo sponsored by the PEIPA. PEIPA SUPPORTS THE COMMUNITY
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27 SENIOR ABUSE AWARENESS by Dave Stewart Charlottetown's new Deputy Police Chief drew strength from tragedy in her career Jennifer McCarron is the first woman to hold the position in department history CHARLOTTETOWN, P.E.I. - Jennifer McCarron chokes back tears as she remembers one of her first calls as a police officer – a woman handing over her granddaughter, begging for help. McCarron, who was officially named deputy chief with Charlottetown Police Services on July 18, and her partner were called to a house about a two-year-old in distress. “We got there before the ambulance,’’ McCarron said in an interview at the police station on Aug. 5. “The grandmother handed me the baby and said, ‘Help her.’ She was already dead.’’ McCarron did everything she could, but she couldn’t save the child. “I was doing CPR on a child that had already passed away. I will never forget that. I tried everything. When I went home that night, I hugged my two kids and thought, ‘that could have been them.’ ’’ Longtime dream McCarron wipes away tears as she takes a moment to compose herself before explaining that being a police officer and helping people has always been her dream. In an interviewwith SaltWire Network on Aug. 5, McCarron, who is the first woman to serve in the role as deputy police chief in Charlottetown in the department’s history, talked about what shaped her career and where she wants to see the force head. She had been interim deputy chief since April 2021. McCarron also recounts a call that came in not long after the tragedy with the baby. She was one of the first officers on the scene in October 2002 when a fire broke out in a two-storey home on Hensley Street. Adam Noble, an 11-year-old Grade 6 student at Prince Street Elementary School, died in the fire. “We tried so hard to get him out. We tried to form a chain to get into the house to get him,’’ McCarron said. “That was my first time entering a fire. I was the fourth one in the chain, but we just couldn’t get in. It turned out that his grandmother worked at the daycare my kids were at.’’ McCarron said dealing with fatalities is the hardest part of the job, a lesson she learned right away. Before she was hired by the department 27 years ago, McCarron worked for the force as a dispatcher. A young man was killed near the Maypoint intersection, but he wasn’t carrying identification, so police issued a media release. A friend of the young man recognized the description of the deceased and called the young man’s mother. On July 18, Charlottetown Police Services officially named Jennifer McCarron as deputy chief, the first woman in the department’s history to hold the position. She’s pictured outside the station on Aug. 5. Dave Stewart/The Guardian Jennifer McCarron, centre, chats Aug. 5 with TaraWatts, left, a detective with the major crime unit, and Const.Tim Keizer. - Dave Stewart/The Guardian continued
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29 SENIOR ABUSE AWARENESS The mother called police dispatch. McCarron answered. “She said to me, ‘Tell me my baby is not dead’. I couldn’t tell her. That will haunt me forever,’’McCarron said, tearing up. The deputy chief said officers are mandated to talk about traumatic calls they attend, but the job brings a lot of posttraumatic stress disorder to deal with. “It’s what you see; it’s what you hear at calls that you remember,’’ she said. “You close your eyes at night, and it’s what you hear. It took me a long time to realize that’s what it was.’’ One big family McCarron, who is a graduate of the Atlantic Police Academy, doesn’t have much to say about the fact she is the first woman to hold the title of deputy chief. She thinks of the department as one big family, one where everyone has everyone’s back. “All I know is that all I’ve ever wanted was to be a police officer. I don’t know what it was. It was kind of a calling. It was a desire to help people,’’ said McCarron, who lives in Brackley Beach. “There were some guys (officers) that weren’t comfortable working with a female, but when they see you in action and you show you can take care of yourself, they’re fine.’’ Const. Tim Keizer said officers see McCarron as just another colleague. “I don’t look at her as the first woman to hold the position,’’ Keizer said. “I look at her as someone who has the respect of the police officers within this department. I’ve said that right from our operational review.’’ Tara Watts, a detective in the major crime unit, said she considers McCarron a mentor. “I started working here over 20 years ago, and she was my supervisor for a while,’’ Watts said. “She has always been a mentor for me. When I started here … there weren’t very many females around so to see her accomplishments through her career, and to see where she is now is impressive. She is a trailblazer for the rest of us.’’ Det. Diana Hatt, who is with the Fredericton Police Force in New Brunswick and is a daughter of former Charlottetown police Cpl. Gordie McConnell, said she became an officer because of McCarron. “I remember Jen working on some of Dad’s shifts and just how respectful she was,’’ Hatt said. “She just did it right. She was so respectful when I watched her, both professionally and personally.’’ McCarron, 55, doesn’t have visions of becoming the chief of police, explaining that she’s due to retire in two years. However, the police veteran hopes to help the department deal with some significant challenges before she leaves. “We’ve got homelessness in this city that needs to be addressed. Mental health is a big one. We’ve got a policing crisis where we only had 35 cadets through the academy this year. We have to figure out a way to recruit. Diversity is a huge challenge as are language barriers. Finding a translator at 3 a.m. is not easy. So, we’ve got some big challenges ahead of us. I hope to be part of the solution.’’ www.saltwire.com Charlottetown Police Services Deputy Chief Jennifer McCarron, left, and dispatcher Mark Cantwell monitor activity in the city on Aug. 5. - Dave Stewart/The Guardian Jennifer McCarron, deputy chief of Charlottetown Police Services, said Aug. 5 some of the toughest and most tragic calls she attended through her 27-year career helped shape her as a person. - Dave Stewart/The Guardian Charlottetown's new Deputy Police Chief drew strength from tragedy in her career (continued)
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31 SENIOR ABUSE AWARENESS Senior abuse is an action, deliberate behaviour or failure to act, by a person in a position of trust - like an adult child, family member, friend or caregiver - that causes or risks causing an older adult: • Physical, sexual or emotional harm; or • Damage to - or loss of - property or assets. Elder abuse covers a whole range of behaviours, from hurtful comments to dominating or controlling another person's daily activities. At its most extreme, senior abuse can result in serious physical harm or endanger a person's life. Abuse may be a pattern of behaviour or just a single incident. It might involve physical harm, social isolation or neglect. Sometimes, the absence of care can hurt just as much as physical abuse. Some kinds of abuse are criminal offences. Other kinds of abuse, like repeated small insults, may not be crimes, but they can hurt anyway.They can also lead to criminal forms of abuse later on. Ageism Stereotypes about old age and aging can be a factor in senior abuse. Some people assume that an older person's mental and physical abilities are limited without regard to the individual's real abilities. They may talk down to an older person or make decisions that affect them without their input.This is known as ageism. The federal and provincial and territorial governments have adopted legislation (human rights acts or codes) prohibiting discrimination on various grounds, including age, in relation to employment, the provision of goods, services and facilities, and accommodation. Everyone deserves protection from abuse. It can create real emotional, physical or financial harm - whether it's hurt feelings, broken limbs or serious financial loss. It can make you feel unsafe where you live and afraid of what might happen next. Being on the receiving end of abuse can make you feel badly about yourself and cause you to lose your confidence and self-esteem.This can make it difficult to make good decisions and to function at work or in your daily activities. Sometimes it takes a while for a person to realize they are being abused. They don't think it could happen to them. If it does, you're not alone—someone will listen. Controlling Behaviour An abuser may be moody or angry. These moods and aggressive behaviours can increase over time.They may be using anger to control you. Some people think they are to blame for the other person's angry behaviour—they don't see that they are being abused. If a partner, family member or friend abuses you, it is not your fault. justice.gc.ca What is senior abuse? Mrs. Chow doesn't want to deal with Alison's embarrassing questions. Usually, the young volunteer reads to Mrs. Chow in her apartment or helps her to walk to the shops nearby. But this morning, Alison wants to talk about the last time Mrs. Chow's granddaughter stopped by to visit. Alison noticed the teenager taking a $20 bill from her grandmother's purse. "Oh, she always gives me money," Tricia had answered, when confronted. "It's no big deal." "I don't want anyone to get into trouble", explains Mrs. Chow as she tries to walk away. She wants to stick by her family, even though she feels hurt. Her family would be angry if Tricia's problems were made public. "But it's not fair to you!" says Alison, following her. "Now I know why you are short of cash so often at the store." Alison stops and looks at Mrs. Chow carefully. "Would it help you to know that you don't have to do this alone? I'd be happy to come by sometime when the girl's mother is here. Maybe there's a way to solve this without everyone feeling too badly." Mrs. Chow is surprised at the relief she feels to hear this. It all feels so complicated. But maybe this girl understands why this is so hard for her. Maybe she does have some choices after all. Reproduced from the Department of Justice publication Elder Abuse is Wrong without affiliation or endorsement of the Government of Canada.
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33 SENIOR ABUSE AWARENESS For older people, abuse can come in many forms: physical, sexual, emotional, financial, or neglect. It's possible to experience more than one type of abuse at the same time, or at different times. In Canada, some kinds of abuse - like fraud, assault, sexual assault, threatening harm and criminal harassment - are crimes under the Criminal Code. Some types of abuse are also offences under provincial and territorial laws. A Cycle of Abuse Many people find that abuse often has a pattern. The tension builds for a while until the abusive person lashes out - either verbally or physically.After the "explosion," there is a period of relative calm. Maybe the abusive person says they are sorry and promises it won't happen another time.Then the cycle begins again. Others describe an increasing spiral of abuse—once it begins, it gets worse over time. Violent outbursts and other abusive behaviours grow more frequent and more severe. The following section highlights some important points about each type of abuse. It also provides some suggestions about what you can do to stop the abuse and to improve the situation. Abuse can be confusing and can hurt a lot. It may be difficult or embarrassing to talk about it but it's important to remember that you are not alone.There is help available. justice.gc.ca A Closer Look Harold gives Edna a little smile as he leaves her at the rehabilitation centre. He's happy they will have some time apart. Edna seems like a different person since her stroke - all her patience has flown away. He tries to help her in whatever way he can, but she rarely has a good word for him. His cooking, his cleaning - nothing is ever good enough. Harold wishes he didn't resent Edna's frustration. He knows that it's hard for both of them to adjust. But it's more complicated than that: he finds he is afraid of her too. He practically jumps out of his skin when she bangs her cane on the table.The other day he suggested that she "lighten up" and she threw her coffee at him. He still has the burns. He's worried her outbursts will get worse. He's tried talking to their daughter. "Oh come on, Dad," she said. "Mom has always been so sweet." But this isn't the Edna they all used to know. Maybe if he talks to the nurse at the rehab centre about it. He and Edna have shared so many happy times together. He doesn't want to remember their last years like this. Reproduced from the Department of Justice publication Elder Abuse is Wrong without affiliation or endorsement of the Government of Canada.
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35 SENIOR ABUSE AWARENESS What does it look like? Physical abuse is the deliberate use of force against a person without that person's consent. It can cause physical pain, injury, or impairment.This includes: • Pushing or shoving • Biting • Hitting, slapping or kicking • Burning • Pinching or punching • Throwing an object at you • Throwing an object at you • Misusing physical restraints • Confining you to one place or room. All of these acts are crimes in Canada. Physical abuse includes the deliberate overmedication or under medication of an older person. What can I do? If you are being physically abused, you may need to leave the situation or your home.You can start by going to a safe place, like your neighbour's or a friend's place, a business or a shelter. Consider reporting the abuse to the police or call 9-1-1. Stress and Abuse Family stress sometimes leads to elder abuse. A spouse's health can deteriorate, leading to stress and change. Adult children juggling multiple family and work demands can become short-tempered. They can overlook their parents' changing physical and emotional needs. The presence of depression, alcoholism or drug abuse can also lead to abusive behaviours or neglect. An existing family history of abuse can intensify as a parent or older family member becomes more dependent. If you are in this situation - or know someone who is - talk to a social worker or someone you trust. Help is available for families going through hard times. If you've been injured, you should seek medical attention as soon as possible. For emergencies, go to the hospital. Some other things you can do are: • Talk to someone you trust • See a social worker or counsellor • See your doctor or visit a medical clinic • Call your local help or crisis line • Speak to your doctor or pharmacist if you think you're getting the wrong amount of medication • See the police to get a criminal order (or "peace bond") to keep the abuser away from you. You may want to see a lawyer or victim service provider to get a civil protection order (restraining order or emergency protection order). These are legal tools that can help to have the abuser removed from the family home or kept away from you. If you are thinking of leaving If you are being abused, it is important to think first about your safety.You also need to think of the safety of any children or other dependent relatives living with you. You may fear that your family and friends will not support you if you leave. They may have fixed ideas of what's right for older adults.They may not like your decision. But even so, it still may be better for you and for those who depend on you to leave rather than to continue to be abused. In an emergency, call 9-1-1 Or call your local police. Try to leave the situation. If you can, attract attention by screaming. If there is violence … Be sure to protect yourself or anyone who depends on you. justice.gc.ca Physical Abuse Sam slams the door in a rage as he leaves his father's house. This time he's really fed up with Abe's insults! His hands are shaking as he grips the steering wheel in the car.Abe's been telling him he's no good ever since he was a kid. Sam doesn't know how many times Abe slapped him over the smallest of things - breaking a dish, losing a hammer, failing a test. Now, it seems everyone expects him to do Abe's errands.Well, there's no way he's doing that! If they knew the real Abe, they'd see that the old guy is quite able to look after himself! Today, though, Sam knows he really lost it.They'd started to argue again and Abe came after him swinging his arms for a fight. Sam couldn't stop himself—he slammed the old man up against the kitchen cupboards. It's not the first time this has happened; but this time, he just left Abe there on the floor, yelling that he'd broken his leg.What if Abe calls the police? In a way, it would be a relief. He needs to talk to someone: he can't stand feeling the remorse and the anger at the same time. Sure, he feels guilty; but isn't Abe also responsible? There must be someone who can understand why they get like this. Reproduced from the Department of Justice publication Elder Abuse is Wrong without affiliation or endorsement of the Government of Canada.
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37 SENIOR ABUSE AWARENESS What does it look like? Sexual abuse involves any unwanted sexual touching or activity.This can include: • Kissing, fondling or sexual intercourse without consent • Continuing sexual contact when asked to stop • Being forced to commit unsafe or degrading sexual acts. Sexual assault is a crime in Canada. Even when you are married, it is a crime to force any sexual conduct on another person. Other sexual offences include sexual exploitation of children and of persons with a disability. What can I do? • Talk to someone you trust • Call a sexual assault crisis line • Consult a nurse, social worker or doctor • Call the police • In an emergency, call 9-1-1 • See the police to get a criminal order (or "peace bond") to keep the abuser away from you. If you are being sexually assaulted you may need to go to a safe place and seek help. Consider reporting the assault to the police and going to the hospital. justice.gc.ca Sexual Abuse Claire hasn't touched her dinner. It's like this every night now. She hasn't been happy since her nephew, Louis, came to live with her. The doctors insisted that she needed someone to look after her. It all seemed to make sense: Louis could help her with her errands and the house, and there would be somebody around overnight. But Louis was so much more than she had bargained for! She dreads it when he calls her into the living room in the evenings. She doesn't want to remember how he forced her to do it the first time, but now he expects her to touch him in a sexual way while he reads dirty magazines. She feels sick with shame. But when she refused to do it, he hit her.Then he told her that if she made any trouble, he would push her down the stairs and leave her for dead. Everyone would think it was an accident. Claire is getting really scared. It doesn't seem like anyone comes to the house any more. She's starting to think she should call the police. It's hard to imagine calling so much attention to things, but it may not be safe to wait to talk to someone else! Reproduced from the Department of Justice publication Elder Abuse is Wrong without affiliation or endorsement of the Government of Canada.
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SENIOR ABUSE AWARENESS 39 What does it look like? Emotional (or psychological) abuse involves using words or actions to control, frighten, isolate or erode a person's self-respect. Emotional abuse can include: • Putting you down or humiliating you • Ignoring you or your health needs • Yelling at you constantly • Making threats to harm you or others • Intruding on your privacy • Making fun of your language, traditions, religious or spiritual beliefs, or preventing you from practicing your religion. • Keeping you from seeing your family, friends or community • Making threats to move you out of your home • Deciding what you can or can't do. Emotional abuse is serious - inside wounds can take a long time to heal. Some forms of emotional abuse are crimes. Stalking, verbal threats, harassing telephone calls, deliberate intimidation and counselling (advising) suicide are all criminal acts in Canada. Many other forms of emotional abuse are not crimes. Still, they can hurt a lot and may lead to criminal acts later on. Criminal Harassment Criminal harassment is a crime. It involves repeated conduct that causes another person to fear for their safety or that of a loved one.You may be afraid because someone: •Watches you or tracks where you go • Leaves threatening messages • Makes threats to you, your children, family, pets or friends • Calls you over and over again, and perhaps hangs up when you answer • Sends you letters or e-mail messages constantly • Sends gifts you do not want What can I do? • Tell someone you trust • Try not to let the abuse silence you •Write down what is happening to you. Keep your notes in a safe place. • Change locations, if you can • If you are afraid, call the police. You do not have to face this alone. Talk to a social worker, a counsellor or someone you trust. They can help you understand more about emotional abuse. Abusers can't always change, but sometimes there are ways to restore and improve intimate and family relationships. Help is available. Elder mediation Elder mediation can be a tool to promote family discussions that might resolve disputes and reduce conflict over issues involving older adults, such as caregiver stress, financial, medical or residential care decisions. By improving communication, you and your family can learn how to take better care of yourself and each other. justice.gc.ca Esha says nothing, as her daughter starts yelling at her. She wonders why Anila treats her this way so often. What happened to her daughter's love and sense of respect? Esha's back begins to ache; she has the breakfast clutter and the entire house to clean.And now her daughter,Anila, wants her to cook dinner for the children tonight. She longs to say no: she can already see them scowling at the traditional dishes she likes to make. She was very happy at first to come to Canada. But now she wishes there was still a place for her back home. Her son-in-law, Chanda, is impatient with her country ways.And her daughter blows back and forth like the wind; sometimes her comments are just as cruel. Esha rarely goes out; she feels unsure of her English. She'd like to go to the Indo-Canadian centre again, but she knows Anila doesn't want to take her. She feels stronger chatting with women her own age. They tell her that her children ask too much from her. Her daughter says they should mind their own business. Esha thinks she will ask her friend Sakina to come with her to talk to the social worker at the centre if she goes. Emotional Abuse Reproduced from the Department of Justice publication Elder Abuse is Wrong without affiliation or endorsement of the Government of Canada.
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41 SENIOR ABUSE AWARENESS What does it look like? Financial (or economic) abuse involves acting without consent in a way that financially benefits one person at the expense of another.This may include: • Stealing from you • Keeping you from making your own financial decisions •Withholding money for things you need (food, housing or medical treatment) • Making frequent requests for money • Failing to repay loans • Pressuring you to share your home or your car, or baby-sit your grandchildren when you don't want to • Taking your money or cashing your cheques without your permission • Pressuring you to sign over your house or property or to sign legal documents that you don't understand • Overcharging you for services. Most forms of financial abuse are crimes, including theft, criminal breach of trust, forgery and fraud. It is also a crime to misuse a Power of Attorney. Financial abuse can also include marriages where a person deliberately pressures an older person of limited capacity into marriage solely for financial profit. What can I do? • Tell someone you trust • Ask for help if you think you are experiencing financial abuse • Have cheques deposited directly into your own bank account • Consult a lawyer about legal options available to manage and protect your property • Ask a lawyer what choices you have to keep your property or money safe. • Ask someone you trust to look over contracts and other papers before you sign them • Change your Power of Attorney to someone you can trust • Contact the police, if you think a crime has been committed. justice.gc.ca Jim sits in the sun outside the residence. His heart is still racing - he hadn't meant to tell his story to that young girl. It had just all poured out: how it looks like lending his car to Roger was a mistake, and how he'd thought the car would make it easier for the whole family to visit while he'd been in the hospital. Now Jim wishes his son-in-law would bring the car back, even though he knows he'll never drive it again.The car is still registered in his name.What if Roger has an accident? If only Roger would just offer to buy it from him!That would be the proper thing to do. Roger knows Jim could really use the money to buy furniture for his new seniors' apartment. Everything has to fit in one room now. Jim is afraid to rock the boat. He just can't find a way to confront Roger.What if Roger takes his anger out on Jim's daughter? He knows that has happened before.Would Jim's family still come to visit him if Roger got angry?Would he keep them away? Maybe it's time to check out that computer in the lounge room to see if there might be something on the Internet that could help, even if it's just what to do about the car insurance. Financial Abuse Reproduced from the Department of Justice publication Elder Abuse is Wrong without affiliation or endorsement of the Government of Canada.
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