67 CHILD ABUSE AWARENESS Safety Plan continued Notice signs that tell you things are / may be getting unsafe. If things have been challenging at home for a long time, the person(s) who’s being abusive may have specific patterns. Knowing this person’s behaviours, reactions and warning signs — or things that typically lead them to behave a certain way — can be important information to help you know when you might be in danger. Some examples of warning signs that things are getting unsafe might include yelling, physical danger (e.g. hitting, throwing, a fire, etc.), someone using substances in a harmful way, you feeling scared, others around you also feeling unsafe, etc. When you notice these warning signs, it may be time for you to leave the situation and go to a different room, connect with support, leave home, etc. if possible. Consider ways you can create space and take care of yourself in the moment There are ways to distance yourself from someone in your home even if you can’t leave. To create physical space, you can try to move somewhere in your home where you can be alone and close / lock the door, such as a bedroom or a bathroom, or try going outside (if it’s safe to do so). Distancing yourself may also include reading, colouring, journaling, watching TV, doing your homework, listening to music or a podcast, etc. These activities may subtly let those around you know that you’re busy or unavailable to engage with them. It may help to plan things you can say to distance yourself from someone you feel unsafe around. For example, you could try saying something like, “I’m going to my room to do my homework now,” etc. If you’re unable to physically distance yourself, you can try to create mental space for yourself by putting headphones on (if you have them) and imagining a wall between you and the person who’s being abusive. You can also try focusing on coping strategies that give you a mental break from what’s happening around you. You may try breathing exercises, grounding techniques or focusing on a hobby. It may be helpful to consider what has helped you in the past. Connect with people you trust It can be helpful to surround yourself with people who make you feel safer — in person or virtually. Even if they don’t know exactly what you’re going through, it can be helpful to have people in your life who care about you and support you. For example, you may choose to connect with family / community members, friends, teachers, coaches, Elders, social workers, etc. If you’re comfortable and feel ready, talking to an adult you trust about what’s happening may expand your support system and help you feel less alone. You may also want to create a code word / signal to use with the people you trust to let them know when you need their immediate support. You can discuss (in advance) what action(s) they should take when you use your code word / signal with them. This could mean having them come pick you up or having them call emergency or other services for you, for example. Keep track of safer spaces Leaving your home for a few hours to spend time in a place where you feel more comfortable may help in situations when you’re having trouble creating a safer space at home or home has become unsafe. Consider what places you can go to in your community. This may include a library, community centre, place of worship, friendship centre, mall, friend’s house, youth shelter, drop-in peer support or mental health resource centre, etc. This could also mean going for a walk / bike ride, spending time outdoors, etc. and coming back home when things may have settled and feel safer. You may consider which spaces are safer at different times of the day and whether any of the spaces in your list could be unsafe at times, too. continued
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